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Whatever the case, the right way is to focus on a solution.

I believe the most likely case is that the sender did send the email but somehow it got lost in transit. The sender may be just as scared as you're. That's why he's so defensive. That's why he's eager to prove it's not his fault. He's not doing this TO YOU; rather he's doing this to clear himself.

If you convince him that neither of you is at fault, he might just calm down and both of you would work on a solution. If so, you would have turned a crisis situation into a showcase of your problem solving and leadership skills.

In the unlikely case that the sender is lying, working with him would have helped him hide a big mistake. Most people would appreciate this and if so, he would owe you a big favor down the road. And you still come out looking good to other people, like your boss.

On the other hand, fighting him would do you no good in either case. If he's proven right, you'd look suspicious. If he's proven a lier, you'd have just made yourself an new enemy.
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Replies, comments and Discussions:

  • 工作学习 / 科技领域杂谈 / 请教:e-mail的送出时间可以改变吗? 很着急,因为有人声称某日送给我过一封重要email,但我从未收到过,他送来print out, 声称是我的过错......
    • Something wrong with mail server, maybe
    • yes, it can be changed. and my friend had to show it in front of judge to win a case. how serious it will related to u?
      • extremely important
        • 查一下是否进了你的垃圾邮件夹。还有,有时候服务器会有延迟或出问题。非常重要的邮件,一般都要及时follow up而不会发完就不管了。所以换了我, 我不会理他,没收到就是没收到,该干嘛干嘛去。
          • normally people just say well, let me send it again. but this guy printed it out and showed to lz, so it s not normal case for sure.
            • 不是发没发的问题, 是收没收到的问题。 如果不是LZ的疏忽, 就更应该据理力争。
      • You mean he/she can only change sending time on the printout paper ? how about the date on computer ?
        • yes, he should not be able to change the send time in his inbox, go to his computer check it out
    • printout 不算数,可改的。让他forward 原来的email to you as an attachment. 这就可知道真相。
      • Is it possible to change original sending date on the computer ?
        • When sent as an attachment, the date for the original email can not be changed.
          • Doesn't even sound right. Good try.:-)
            • 可能我英文表达得不够准确,把original email 重新forward成一个attachment, original sending date 是无法再改变的,我是经常用这种方法forward email 以体现原email未被改动过。
    • 问题的关键不在日期改没改,而是email是个发后就不管,非同步的东西,你又没责任100%保证你收到所有邮件,既然重要,他没有电话确认你收到否,他的责任大于你的
      • 顶。
    • 没收到你为嘛心虚。。。:-)
      • I am not "心虚", just want to know, from your IT experts, what I should do to protect myself. It is way beyond "心虚" or not "心虚" at this stage
        • 太容易了, 谁管EMAIL找谁。。。:-)
          • I am not working in an office. My email server is yahoo .....
    • 既然他用这么不专业的手法来责怪你,你也用不专业的手法来争辩得了。送一份 print out of your inbox and trash,证明那段日子里他的 email 没有在那里
      • 好像不是很高明,牺牲自己的隐私来证明什么,本身就是“怯”了才这么做。还是上面那位大侠说的在理。国人一定要坚持在“点”上的理。
    • Don't bog down on whose fault it is. State calmly that you didn't get it (it's possible due to server issues or junk filters). Then figure out with the sender how to deal with the consequences. Be professional. Be cool. Don't be hot.
      • 首先可能不是LZ要追究谁的过错,而是他方想利用这一点隐瞒什么,想把错推到LZ身上。
        • That is correct !
        • Whatever the case, the right way is to focus on a solution.
          I believe the most likely case is that the sender did send the email but somehow it got lost in transit. The sender may be just as scared as you're. That's why he's so defensive. That's why he's eager to prove it's not his fault. He's not doing this TO YOU; rather he's doing this to clear himself.

          If you convince him that neither of you is at fault, he might just calm down and both of you would work on a solution. If so, you would have turned a crisis situation into a showcase of your problem solving and leadership skills.

          In the unlikely case that the sender is lying, working with him would have helped him hide a big mistake. Most people would appreciate this and if so, he would owe you a big favor down the road. And you still come out looking good to other people, like your boss.

          On the other hand, fighting him would do you no good in either case. If he's proven right, you'd look suspicious. If he's proven a lier, you'd have just made yourself an new enemy.
          • 不愧是win city
          • right on
          • 如果有经济纠纷在里面,当然如果没有最好,那么谁的过错谁赔偿,很多人就是要耍无赖,那么你也必须准备好to be tough。所谓商场如战场。没有捅破这层纸之前当然可以先停留在接招还招的层面。
            • 这时候要做好几手准备,一种就是蟾蜍说的,尽量以和为贵,另外就必须随时觉察他的真实意图是什么,如果对方打定了主意拆台,那么必须要有应对,在这之前,不要主动出击,做好充足的防御。
            • 真不愧是闯过业的,跟俺们打工的想法就是不一样。
              • 哪里,就是思想复杂了点。
                • set-top box 归文化部管?
                  • 不是。
          • This is 100% sender's fault.
            Email never be a guaranteed service. If you send a $20 item in plain mail,it is at no fault at either side if lost. If a $20k value item is lost in transit of a non-registered mail, (even registered, but not insured), what recipient to do with it? Email is a little bit different - information instead of real items is sent. Given the nature of email - unreliable, it is up to one side (the sender or the recipient, in most cases, the sender) to follow up with it. If recipient demands getting a critical email and he suspect it might have been sent from sender, he shall follow up.
    • 即使是普通的物理信件,如果重要(特别是商业通知),要寄挂号信,这样即使抵赖,也可以查到签收时的签名。否则发件人无法在法庭上提供证据证明收件人肯定收到了。
    • 没收到就没收到,没读就没读,读了不当一回事,没读就删了。要理直气壮,不就是一邮件吗?有重要的事就该打电话或上门。我就有不读邮件就删除的习惯,So what?
    • Anything can be changed on personal computer. In your case, the only thing is reliable is the log on your mail server (not his).
    • just ignore the print out...it can't prove anything...
    • 说多怕你不明白....时间可以改,你可以改存在你电脑上的邮件copy的时间,你的直接邮件服务器上的记录可以被管理员改,中转邮件服务器们(如果你俩不是一个单位部门)的记录也分别可被各自管理员修改。。但不存在一个黑手可以改动所有机器上的时间记录。所以。。。